So, tomorrow I move into a flat with a kitchen. "Hey, you're going up in the world Dodgson!" I hear you exclaim, "No stopping you daddy-oh!" I shall indeed, be king of the student property-ladder, master of residential units, overlord of.. living space. Except for the fact that it's going to be another college-owned room, over which a bigoted landlord will have absolute control, down even to the amount of blu-tak I choose to own, this is, without question, the unmistakeable truth. I, Dodgson, will be the pimp of the Oxford Accommodation scene. Boom.
In all seriousness though, I am looking forward to it. Having been at home for just under a working week, I'm about right to move back out and get going with the pretence of 'being independent'. Similarly, a taste of home cooking has reminded me that college hall food, while lovingly served, affordably priced and usually pretty good, really isn't the be all and end all of cuisine. With that in mind, look forward to the blogs which keep you updated with interesting culinary facts like 'how many sausages you can buy for a tenner in Sainsbury's', 'why the content of Tesco's fruit and vegetable aisle looks like it was selected by Francis Bacon' and 'the joys of making bread' (I'm serious about the last one).
Also, it'll be a nice sort of thing to do in the holidays, living with friends, cooking, doing spots of light reading in the sunshine, blissfully wiling away the hours as we plod mirthlessly towards the bleak speck of light that is the end of our university career, along the loathsome tunnel of murky ooze and depravity that is revision and finals.
Which brings me to my main point. New flat = genuinely exciting. Do I need to shout about it as if it's the best thing in the world? Not really. Why? Because I like to pretend to have some sort of grounding in reality. Unlike this man.
There's just something about this guy that finally got me definitively angry about hip-hop/rap. Now, as my post from last time (Exhibit C) and anything else I may post in the future or whatever will reveal, I like hip hop. It can be incredible. It has produced some of the most outstanding beats in the history of music. Equally, as any cheeky browse of last week's Jay Electronica, or a click on this should show you, it can produce genuinely insightful, rhythmically deft lyrics of skill that is just as good as any 'literary' poem.
Unfortunately, it can also produce Lil' Jon and the Eastside Boyz. Now, don't get me wrong, 'Get Low' is still reasonably amusing and someone like Jay Z, having made some awesome tunes and genuinely said something about life, is perfectly within his rights to every so often make a song about just how much money he has and how cool he is (although his increasing tendency to do so was starting to grate until 'Death of Auto-Tune'). But when someone I've never heard of, with a name like 'Wiz', chants the names of two different colours, AND THEN starts yelling how much cash he has.. ufff. Not only is it boring and musically uninspired, it just doesn't make sense. I mean who the hell is he? And what is it trying to say?
Now understand, I get the whole status thing with respect to the musical genre. A great deal of the artists have come from an oppressive social background and, in some cases, extreme poverty so, when success comes, you shout about it to tell the world. Cool. But when you do, do it in a way that at the very least is inspiring. And do it alongside some music that means something. I mean KanYe West to most people is an absolute douche-bag, the guy has/claims to have diamonds for teeth for goodness' sakes. But then he'll also make songs like Heard Em Say, Jesus Walks, Roses, Hey Mama, Homecoming, Diamonds from Sierra Leone and even a song like All of the Lights which challenge the normal, dull stereotype about rap music that the equally stereotyped white, ignorant, bigoted, conservative classes love to hold up as an example of its bad influence.
As declarations of independence then, in the personal sense, songs that say 'look how awesome and rich I am', are certainly good attempts at stamping the singer/rapper's assertiveness on the world. But realistically, and even musically, they only make sense in a context where that assertion holds. Listen closely to MC Hammer's 'Can't Touch This'. Even the title says it. It's a song all about how awesome MC Hammer is. And hey, the guy was doing pretty good - he even bought a solid gold toilet. But now, when you hear that song, no-one thinks about how awesome MC Hammer is; the song is just a bit of 90's gimmickry. But in 10 years time, when someone rolls out '99 Problems', and Jay-Z, in his own inimitable style, just lets you know that 'a bitch ain't one', you'll probably agree.
Curiously, although I couldn't really think of many other musical genres that were as big on the braggadocio, I did think of one, perhaps artist/group of artists that did well out of it: Frank Sinatra and the Rat Pack. Kind of unexpected at first but then, maybe not - after all, these were the guys everyone wanted to be. Including the very first generation of rappers. All a bit full circle I guess. I suppose it all boils down to aspiration. I mean what's the best way of convincing everyone you're successful? Telling everyone how successful you are.
Never mind. I guess there's only one thing to do tomorrow. Move into the kitchen, turn up the Wiz Khalifa and then segue epically into My Way.
Black and yellow, black and yellow, black and yellow.
Dodgson.
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